Youth

 - By Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

妈妈

A Letter from Kai-Fu Lee to His Daughter: How to Spend Your College Life

Dear Daughter:

As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind.
First, I want to tell you how proud we are. Getting into Columbia is a real testament of what a great well-rounded student you are. Your academic, artistic, and social skills have truly blossomed in the last few years. Whether it is getting the highest grade in Calculus, completing your elegant fashion design, successfully selling your painted running shoes, or becoming one of the top orators in Model United Nations, you have become a talented and accomplished young woman. You should be as proud of yourself as we are.

I will always remember the first moment I held you in my arms. I felt a tingling sensation that directly touched my heart. It was an intoxicating feeling I will always have. It must be that "father-daughter connection" which will bind us for life. I will always remember singing you lullaby while I rocked you to sleep. When I put you down, it was always with both relief (she finally fell asleep!) and regret (wishing I could hold you longer). And I will always remember taking you to the playground, and watching you having so much fun. You were so cute and adorable, and that is why everybody loved you so.

You have been a great kid ever since you were born, always quiet, empathetic, attentive, and well-mannered. You were three when we built our house. I remember you quietly followed us every weekend for more than ten hours a day to get building supplies. You put up with that boring period without a fuss, happily ate hamburgers every meal in the car, sang with Barney until you fell asleep. When you went to Sunday Chinese school, you studied hard even though it was no fun for you. I cannot believe how lucky we are as parents to have a daughter like you.

You have been an excellent elder sister. Even though you two had your share of fights, the last few years you have become best friends. Your sister loves you so much, and she loves to make you laugh. She looks up to you, and sees you as her role model. As you saw when we departed, she misses you so much. And I know that you miss her just as much. There is nothing like family, and other than your parents, your sister is the one person who you can trust and confide in. She will be the one to take care of you, and the one you must take care of. There is nothing we wish more than that your sisterhood will continue to bond as you grow older, and that you will take care of each other throughout your lives. For the next four years, do have a short video chat with her every few days, and do email her when you have a chance.

College will be the most important years in your life. It is in college that you will truly discover what learning is about. You often question "what good is this course". I encourage you to be inquisitive, but I also want to tell you: "Education is what you have left after all that is taught is forgotten." What I mean by that is the materials taught isn't as important as you gaining the ability to learn a new subject, and the ability to analyze a new problem. That is really what learning in college is about – this will be the period where you go from teacher-taught to master-inspired, after which you must become self-learner. So do take each subject seriously, and even if what you learn isn't critical for your life, the skills of learning will be something you cherish forever.

Do not fall into the trap of dogma. There is no single simple answer to any question. Remember during your high school debate class, I always asked you to take on the side that you don't believe in? I did that for a reason -- things rarely "black and white", and there are always many ways to look at a problem. You will become a better problem solver if you recognized that. This is called "critical thinking", and it is the most important thinking skill you need for your life. This also means you need to become tolerant and supportive of others. I will always remember when I went to my Ph.D. advisor and proposed a new thesis topic. He said "I don't agree with you, but I'll support you." After the years, I have learned this isn't just flexibility, it is encouragement of critical thinking, and an empowering style of leadership, and it has become a part of me. I hope it will become a part of you too.

Follow your passion in college. Take courses you think you will enjoy. Don't be trapped in what others think or say. Steve Jobs says when you are in college, your passion will create many dots, and later in your life you will connect them. In his great speech given at Stanford commencement, he gave the great example where he took calligraphy, and a decade later, it became the basis of the beautiful Macintosh fonts, which later ignited desktop publishing, and brought wonderful tools like Microsoft Word to our lives. His expedition into calligraphy was a dot, and the Macintosh became the connecting line. So don't worry too much about what job you will have, and don't be too utilitarian, and if you like Japanese or Korean, go for it, even if your dad thinks "it's not useful" : ) Enjoy picking your dots, and be assured one day you will find your calling, and connect a beautiful curve through the dots.

Do your best in classes, but don't let pressure get to you. Your mother and I have no expectations for your grades. If you graduate and learn something in your four years, we would feel happy. Your Columbia degree will take you far, even if you don't graduate with honors. So please don't give yourself pressure. During your last few months in high school, you were so happy because there was little pressure and college applications are finished. But in the past few weeks, we saw you are beginning to worry (did you know you bite your nails when you are nervous?). Please don't be worried. The only thing that matters is that you learned. The only metric you should use is that you tried. Grades are just silly letters that give the vain people something to brag, and the lazy people something to fear. You are too good to be either.

Most importantly, make friends and be happy. College friends are often the best in life, because during college you are closer to them physically than to your family. Also, going through independence and adulthood is a natural bonding experience. Pick a few friends and become really close to them – pick the ones who are genuine and sincere to you. Don't worry about their hobbies, grades, looks, or even personalities. You have developed some real friendships in high school in your last two years, so trust your instinct, and make new friends. You are a genuine and sincere person – anyone would enjoy being your friend, so be confident, outgoing, and pro-active. If you think you like someone, tell her. You have very little to lose. Give people the benefit of the doubt; don't stereotype and be forgiving. People are not perfect, so as long as they are genuine and sincere, trust them and be good to them. They will give back. This is my secret of success – that I am genuine with people and trust them (unless they do something to lose my trust). Some people tell me that occasionally I would be taken advantage of. They are right, but I can tell you that that loss is nothing compared to what I gained. In my last 18 years leading people, I have realized that only one thing matters – to gain the trust and respect of others, and to do so, you need to trust and respect others first. Whether it is for management, work, or friendship, this is something you should ponder. Do keep your high school friends, and stay connected to them, but do not use them as substitutes for college friendship, and do not spend too much time with them, because that would eat into your time to make new friends. 

Start planning for your summers early – what would you like to do? Where would you like to live? What would you like to learn? What have you learned in college that might change your mind? I think your plan of studying fashion is good, and you should decide where you want to be, and get into the right courses. We of course hope you come back to Beijing, but you should go where you think is best for you. Whether it is summer-planning, or coursework planning, or picking a major, or managing your time, you should take control of your life. In the past, I have helped you quite a bit, whether it is in college application, designing your extracurricular activities, or picking the initial coursework. I will always be there for you, but the time has come for you to be in the driver's seat – this is your life, and you need to be in control. I will always remember the exhilarating feeling in my life – that I got to decide to skip kindergarten, that I got to decide to change to computer science major, that I got to decide to leave academia for Apple, that I got to decide to go to China, that I got to decide to go to Google, and most recently, that I got to decide to start my own business. Being able to decide means you get to live the life that you want to. Life is too short to live the life others do or others want you. Being in control feels great. Try it, and you'll love it!

I told your mom I'm writing this letter, and asked what she wanted me to say. She thought and said: "just ask her to take care of herself." Simple but deeply caring – that is how your mother is, and that is why you love her so much. In this simple sentence is her hope that you will become independent in the way you take care of yourself – that you will remember to take your medicine, that you will get enough sleep,  that you will have a balanced diet, that you will get some exercise, and that you will go see a doctor whenever you don't feel good. An ancient Chinese proverb says that the most important thing to be nice to your parents is to take care of yourself. This is because your parents love you so much, and that if you are well, they will have comfort. You will understand this one day when you become a mother. But in the meantime, please listen to your mother and take care of yourself.

College is the four years where you have:

• the greatest amount of free time
• the first chance to be independent
• the most flexibility to change
• the lowest risk for making mistakes

So please treasure your college years – make the best of your free time, become an independent thinker in control of your destiny, evolve yourself into a bi-cultural talent, be bold to experiment, learn and grow through your successes and challenges.

When I faced the greatest challenge and opportunity in my life in 2005, you gave me a big hug and said "bonne chance", which means "good luck" and "good courage". Now I do the same for you. Bonne chance, my angel and princess. May Columbia become the happiest four years in your life, and may you blossom into just what you dream to be.

Love,
Dad (& Mom)

围棋与人生

我一直喜欢简洁完美而又深邃的事物，这种追求随着年龄的增长，变得更加清晰，这也让我与围棋的相遇变成了必然。年过而立之年的我，当再次与围棋相遇的时候，一下子就被它的美所深深地吸引。它的美源于它丰富的辩证思想，这种辩证思想可以渗透到我们人生的方方面面。我常会惊奇的发现，棋盘上的选择和人生的选择是何等的类似！所以决定写一篇博客谈谈围棋与人生。

先谈谈围棋的简洁美。在围棋的设计中包含很多寓意。棋盘为方，其子为圆，子覆盘上寓意天圆地方。子分黑白，寓意阴阳。 棋盘共361个点，360暗合一年天数约数，天元一点寓意万物自一而始。9个星位暗合九宫之数，星位将棋盘分为四个象限，寓意一年四季，每个象限约为90个落子点，寓意每季天数。 棋盘周边共72点，寓意一年72侯。相比其它棋类运动，围棋规则简洁完美。比如象棋，你要知道如何摆棋，每个棋子的走法，每个棋子的作用。规则复杂，而围棋的规则非常简单，个把小时就能掌握，但是要下好围棋，却需要数年的时间，参透围棋往往需要数十年的人生阅历。

围棋规则简洁，但千变万化，蕴含着深邃的人生哲理。记得YouTube上有个介绍围棋的英文节目。第一句话就说，Go is an ancient Chinese game and it is a great tool for self-evaluation. 通过下棋，可以看出人的性格。围棋中充满了辩证思想，教会人们选择与放弃。比如选择如外势还是实地，弃子还是争先，边角还是腹地，大场还是急所，等等。下图给了一个例子，白棋选择了实地，而黑棋则选择了外势。白棋围的实地不再会增加，而黑棋的外势却为后面运行打下基础，借用得当，可以换回大笔实地，用的不得法，搞不好还会被别人吃掉。正如有人做事认真，谨慎，那下棋时会走实地；有人为人大气，豁达，则喜欢外势。好多年轻人，career之初，喜欢深入研究某个领域，好比占据实地。但有人有人兴趣广泛，就像在构造外势。

水平高的人跟水平低的人在什么地方不同呢？可以这样说，水平高的人，每走一步都有作用，而水平低的人常常走无用的棋。不管怎样说，棋是每人各走一步，无用的走多了，当然要输了。行棋的效率跟人生做事的效率有很多类似之处。先贴一个唐玄宗时代的围棋名手王积薪所提倡的《围棋十绝》，然后讨论里面其中几条。

一. 不得贪胜 二. 入界宜缓

三. 攻彼顾我 四. 弃子争先

五. 舍小就大 六. 逢危须弃

七. 慎勿轻速 八. 动须相应

九. 彼强自保 十. 势孤取和

下围棋不可心急贪胜，没有很好的根据地，一味贪图效率，大幅占地，往往会被对方抓住漏洞，切断联系，被对方制成一片片的孤棋。 在工作中往往可以能看到一些人好大喜功，但却根基不牢，到最后后院起火，竹篮打水的故事。但下棋也不能太过小心，虽然占地坚实，但效率过慢。 就好像一些人办事一生老老实实，唯唯诺诺，最后难成大事。在下棋时把我好这个度很难，做人拥有适度的ambition也不容易。没有ambition难成大事，但太过ambitious，太aggressive了，往往会失去朋友，丢了根据地。下棋效率高，要注意棋型与手筋。听讲棋的时候，大家经常能听到人说，这步是“型的好手”，这步是“筋的妙手”。棋型好效率才能高，棋型好比做事情先做大摸样，定好了strategy，后面自然水到渠成。手筋是一些局部的妙手与技巧，下出一个好的手筋，好比当你一头雾水，手下一人帮你想出一妙招，四两拨千斤的感觉。对于棋型与手筋的感觉，是要靠长期的经验积累。围棋里面还有一些技巧，有种方法叫“腾挪”。是不是听着就那么飘逸。“攻彼顾我”非常重要。高手围空，往往不是为了围空而围空。高效率的围空是在攻击对方的时候自然围空。 这种做法在商战中屡见不鲜。围棋里面讲究先手，有了先手别人可以跟着我走棋，才能掌握主动。弃子争先就是讲这个很重要的道理，宁可失去一些小的碎子，也要抢得先手。好比做research，一篇开创性的paper，经常无数citation，而有人做research拾人牙慧，浪费青春。好比虽然救回来了一些碎子，但失去了更好的机会。当然了，下棋中要有实力，有眼光才能找到先手，才能值得弃子争先，不然你下了，别人也不会应的 ：）下棋效率高，就要注重联络。也就是跟以前的子联系到一起。有句话叫“棋长一尺,无眼自活”。有了联络，棋不容易被围攻，这样才能更好的发挥效力。围棋很有意思，不像象棋，每个落子是不能再移动的。这就好像人的一生会发生很多很多事情一样，事情发生了，就像一个棋子落在了盘面，不能再改变，高手能利用盘面的棋子，让下一步棋发挥最大的效力，这就是动须相应谈的道理。 就好像我们做事情，要学会切问近思，需要思考如何把以前的经验跟现在事情联系到一起，怎样做才能对未来变得更加有利。这个就是联通教给我们的道理。比如有些人不停地换方向，换专业，换工作，不能很好的把以前的经验转化为自己下一步腾飞的实力。虽然忙碌，但却无为。

围棋历史源远流长。中国古代围棋是琴棋书画四艺之一。被人们认为是一种高雅的艺术，而不仅仅是一种“技”。吴清源大师在对21世纪围棋的构想中也谈到，围棋崇尚和谐，是一种艺术，也是一种生命的哲学。看棋，品棋是一种欣赏。看大竹英雄的棋，让人体验棋型中沁人心脾的美。看小林光一的棋，能体会出那种棋风凛冽，杀气逼人的寒气。看聂卫平的棋，有种高屋建瓴的感觉。看李昌镐的官子，又有那种锱铢必较，妙手回春的惊喜。看古力，李世石的棋，又能感觉出那种不屈的精神。棋面千姿百态，就想人生一样，魅力无穷。